Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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