You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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