i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
