youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
