Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
