Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
