yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I am morally bankrupt
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
