I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize