Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize