Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
