We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
