You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
