Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
