he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
