she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
