Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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