So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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