Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
