I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
