what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
