Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Four minutes until I can fart!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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