Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
