Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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