god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
