GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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