those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
