Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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