...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
