how can u be prego again
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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