We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
