i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
