My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
