I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
