I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
