Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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