Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
