he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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