Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
