Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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