someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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