And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
