ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
