i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
