thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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