Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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