is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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