I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize