How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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