hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Help. Why am I so naked?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
