Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
