everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
