is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
