so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
