I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
