I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
