does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
