I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish i was in the wii world.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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