I don't think brook has ever known best
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
