whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
