So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You need a sexual gate keeper
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
